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Mysteries of the Universe

There are things in life that simply defy explanation. Why do drivers continually refuse to use blinkers? Why is everything that tastes great so bad for us? Why can’t my two female cats get along? You know, important questions of the universe like these that have no answers.

I encountered another one of these on Saturday as I bought a new car. Why did it take me twice as long to buy my new car as it did to close on my house?

First, I take full responsibility for blowing a five-hour hole in my and my wife’s Saturday afternoon. Here’s what led up to it:

Me: “Honey, we’re just going to go look at cars, I’m not doing anything this weekend.”

Her: “Okay, we’re not filling out a single credit app.”

Me: “Of course not, are you kidding me?!”

I was reminded of the above conversation hours later as I was signing the sales contract.

It’s my fault but it’s not. I mean, what am I supposed to do — they had the car I wanted all nice and shiny and red and fast and priced right. I’m only a man. I truly had no intention of a test drive but it looked and felt better than I thought it would so I thought a little test drive couldn’t hurt.

It hurt.

The salesman knew he had me as I punched it up to 80 mph in what seemed like just a few seconds. And that hurt.

The truth is, we came out of the deal pretty well. But why does it take so long to complete a sale? It took a few seconds to decide I wanted the car but hours to do the paperwork afterwards. I remember when we closed on our house it took literally less than an hour. The paperwork was printed out and ready to go and — unbelievably — there were fewer forms, this on something that cost nearly 10 times what my car cost and will last a whole lot longer.

Don’t even get me started on the add-ons. And when we closed on our house we did it with one person. I must have spoken with at least four people just to buy a car.

It’s okay, the car is great and our budget absorbed the hit just fine. Now if those cats would just get along…

Rodney Williams is the managing editor for The Anna-Melissa Tribune and the Van Alstyne Leader. He can be contacted at or