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Bumper Wisdom

The next time you’re up and about town take a look what you see on the back of cars and, of course since this is truck country better focus on them too. Well, actually it’s what you don’t see any more – bumper stickers.

At one time, or as kids today would say “in the olden years,” virtually every car (or truck) had a sticker plastered on the rear bumper with a message, topics ranging from politics to religion, for or against big “guvimint,” social commentary and a creative variety of insults. And you always could spot the vacationing types since their cars were virtual travelogs of every place they visited.

Today there are no more bumper stickers to amuse or infuriate. The exception, though, once in a while, may be a smoke belching, broken down pick up with oversize tires, with Bubba at the wheel and a message that’s not quite suitable for a family newspaper.

So, in the spirit of nostalgia, here’s a sampling of what we’ve been missing.

Since politics is in season: “Stop repeat offenders. Don’t reelect them!” Look around your subdivision, since this hits the proverbial nail on the head: “Suburbia – where they cut down the trees and then name streets after them.”

For the feminists in the crowd: “Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.” Or getting right to the point: “Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.”

Religion and educationa are summed up in twelve words: “As long as there are tests there will be prayers in public schools.” And then there’s misguided education: “I majored in liberal arts. Would you like fries with that?”

Work ethic or maybe lack thereof: “Hard work has future payoff. Laziness pays off now.” Or how about: “I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me.” And the ideal job: “All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.”

State of affairs: “We were born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.” And now for the final unanswered question: “What happens if you get scared to death twice?.