Yahoo Weather

You are here

Happy, Happy Men

It’s been said that men are happier people (though no doubt said by a bunch of grinning guys.) And the opposing point of view was a plainly blunt, “What do you expect from such simple creatures?”

While I’m not going to risk my well-being by getting in the middle of the fracas, I do happen to have some pretty convincing evidence supporting men’s claims. But to be on the up-and-up, and here comes the disclaimer, I received these comments from an anonymous source in West Texas (who obviously does not want to go public out of concern for his well being also.)

So here we go.

Let’s look at dressing up or dressing down, as the case may be. A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

A man is unable to see wrinkles in his clothes. He can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Or he can wear no shirt to a water park. His new shoes, don’t cut, blister or mangle his feet. Underwear is a bargain at $8.95 for a three-pack, and men can wear shorts no matter how their legs look.

Now that the dress code is taken care of it’s time to step out for a bite to eat. If Sheila, Candy and Sarah go out to lunch, they will call each other Sheila, Candy and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately (at least in West Texas) refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only $32.50, claiming that that they don’t have anything smaller and none will actually admit that they want change back. When the girls get their bill, they hit the calculators on their iPhones.

And on the way home a man never has to drive to another gas station to look for a restroom because the other one was just too icky.

And since we’re now home let’s peek in the bathroom. A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel. The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 337 and a man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

But since discretion is the better part of valor (on my part) and we come to the end of all this happy chatter, I would like to remind all of you that since we are an equal opportunity publication, opposing views are always welcome. So bring it on ladies – that is if the paper is not already in the trash bin.

Oh, one more thought, a personal one – happiness is in the heart of the beholder.